Quality over quantity: I can't tell you how many times I've used this saying in my life. It seems to fit in every situation I can think of. Cake. Travel. Romance. And yes, Communication. We've all been there: sitting across from someone on a first date, wondering when the conversation is going to improve or become stimulating at the very least. And then you finally get to the end and do a silent cheer in your head because it seems like a victory of sorts that you actually made it through. I've often left those dates thinking to myself, "how can someone be such a poor communicator and bring nothing to this table (literally!)" (I also leave craving a bottle of wine, but that's usually aided by my desire to drink away the last hour and a half and cuddle up with my dog who, believe it or not, is a much better communicator than some of these men). Dating in the 21st century is hard enough with the advent of cell phones, email and online dating, but who would have guessed that one of the most important factors in finding a mate is one that stands the test of time: communication.
Recently, a friend of mine called me venting about his "woman problems" and divulged the fact that he was thinking of calling it quits. It wasn't the distance between them (2 hours away), it wasn't the physical attributes of their relationship, it was the lack of meaningful conversation. And it got me thinking: even with so many technologies that help us stay in touch with a romantic partner, is it still possible that some people are simply not quality communicators? And if that is the case, how does one go through their life and not desire connectivity with a partner on a deeper level than baseball and the weather? For me, that's a deal breaker!
As I am transitioning from SMF (single mobile female) to TMF (taken mobile female), there are certain attributes in my mate that have become extremely important, if not imperative. And meaningful conversation is one of them. I don't care if it's a conversation over cell phone, email, Facebook, or text messages, I just need to feel connected to that person in a way that is continuously stimulating and meaningful. And don't get me wrong, we do talk about sports, Fantasy Football and going out drinking, but that is not ALL we talk about. We discuss our situation, where we stand, where we want to go and common goals and interests we have in life. These topics certainly don't monopolize our conversations, but we do talk about them, openly and honestly. Being able to share these innermost feelings and emotions with my romantic partner is the glue that keeps it together and frankly, what keeps me coming back for more.
So I make the case for you lovers out there: communicate with your partner in a meaningful way. Make an effort to be a part of not only their exterior lives but their interior thoughts as well. And this goes for yourself too; be interesting. Have something compelling and interesting to talk about. Bring up an interesting article that you read or question your partner on their stance of a political change that is on the horizon. Whatever you do, just make sure you are communicating first with quality, then with quantity.
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