Burning the Midnight Oil with Cellular Energy

Subtitle: A revisit of the long-distance relationship and how technology is helping my own LDR survive the test of distance and time.

When I wrote the first article on long-distance relationships and how improved technologies aide in their success, I was a single mobile female. Since that time, I have been "taken off the market;" surprisingly without modern technology but rather a twist of fate and a common interest in football and pizza (who knew?). So I am officially in a LDR. At first it didn't feel like it was "distanced" so much, likely due to the holidays and extra days off which means extra lovey-dovey time. But now it is starting to hit me. The late night phone calls, the email exchanges, this is how we communicate throughout the days that we are not together in order to feel like we actually are together. And while most days these interactions fill the desire for that other person's affection and company, there are nights (like tonight) that nothing can replace the feeling of a warm body and snuggling on the couch.

But we power through. We fall asleep on these nights with the help of a favorite TV show or perhaps some internet browsing or an old DVD; anything to distract us from the present moment of solidarity. I have to say, I have caught up on every single one of my TV shows (GLEE, Big Bang Theory, Man Men, my guilty pleasures) and am ready to tackle some new series that I have been told I need to get into (Dexter?!). Despite this description, which may paint the picture of unrest or discomfort (quite the opposite!) our relationship is going strong. In fact, it's better than going strong, it is kicking ass in the world's strongest man competition. I couldn't be happier with my romantic situation as it currently stands.

But it raises the question in my mind: would our relationship be as healthy and happy as it is given the 3 hour distance between us if we didn't have these technologies to keep us connected?

My first response would be: NO! Without a doubt. If I couldn't talk to him throughout the day, hear his voice and the jokes he tells me to make me laugh, I wouldn't feel as close to him. Thanks to our cell phones, he's the first person I talk to when I wake up and the last thing before I go to sleep. We stay in touch between phone calls with text messages of quick updates and scheduling ideas. And emails in the intermittent to plan out our calendar and social events we have coming up. Without these technologies, I would feel disconnected. I would literally feel 3 hours away while now I feel like he could be next door. It brings us together. The use of these technologies in our relationship makes us better communicators; it enables us to share our feelings about the other person, which comforts us while we are not together. Because we are not talking face-to-face, we are able to improve on the clearness, accuracy, and the quality of tone and reflection in our voices. Overall, we are better communicators; individually and for each other.

Personally, I find it easier to discuss my emotions in this way. I'm sure this is mostly because I feel I can be open and completely myself with him. But overall, I haven't had trouble discussing the way I feel or my emotions toward our relationship like I normally do. We talk about things in all different ways that even when we are together I have an easier time communicating with him how I feel and how happy I am. I find that the breadth and variance in the technologies available have created a better communicator within myself when it comes to the discussion of emotions and emotionally charged situations.

Our goal is to change this from a LDR to a "we live in the same state" relationship. When? We don't know exactly. But we are hoping in the next 3 months. If there is one thing I have to say to about LDRs it is this: if you can make it through the time apart, then the time together should be a blessing and a breeze.

And so, I leave you with this: Dave Matthews Band music video for "You and Me," in tribute to my own LDR. Boyfriend posted this video on my Facebook wall one day because it reminds him of me and that "together, we can do, anything, anything."