Technology Bridging the Relationship Gap for Many Devoted Lovers

Subtitle: This entry will explore the way new technologies have helped long distance relationships survive the test of time and the expansive divide between lovers.

Long distance relationships: do they work? For many couples, they do work and these 3 words embody their romantic situation. According to a recent article on Forbes.com titled "Love Tech Goes Long Distance" (http://www.forbes.com/2008/02/06/love-gadgets-valentine-tech-lovebiz08-cx_ag_0206distance.html), "The most recent U.S. Census in 2006 showed that about 3.8 million Americans are in commuter marriages, a 30% increase since 2000. And one driver of that trend, says Gregory Guldner, director of the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, is the perception that technology reduces the emotional separation of distance." In essence, people are more open to the idea of a long distance relationship because there are many new technologies that can "connect" them to their distanced lover.

But how do these distanced couples survive? To answer this question, I surveyed Jessenia, 26, who just celebrated her 2 year anniversary with her long distance boyfriend. She lives in New York City and her boyfriend lives in Miami. She said she uses a cell phone with camera, video, and video chat capabilities to stay connected to him. When asked why she thinks technology has helped foster her long distance relationship, she said, "It has definitetly made us last so long together during this distance because we can chat real time; (with iPhone 4 and Facetime) we see each other in real time and communicate very easily. If we didn't have technology the only way we would have any interaction would be through snail mail and that would not have made us stay together this long. We have tried to chat over the PC but that entails being stuck to a computer and a single, static location. So we only communicate through cell phone. We can share pictures amd videos of what's going around us and make the other person feel as if they are experiencing the moment with us. We also share online articles and youtube videos."

Jessenia's testimony shows that with new technologies, these two individuals can "experience the moment" and make each other feel like they are there with the other by sharing their surroundings with photos and videos sent via their cell phones. The ability to connect in this way is just one way that technology is aiding long distance relationships of all kinds, including romantic, friendships and even families.

Another prime example of a technology that is sustaining long distance relationships is Skype. "Skype (pronounced /skaɪp/) is a software application that allows users to make voice calls over the Internet. Calls to other users within the Skype service are free, while calls to both traditional landline telephones and mobile phones can be made for a fee using a debit-based user account system" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skype) Essentially, via two computers located anywhere in the world, a couple can communicate through video chat and have the ability to see their significant other while talking with them, which provides the feeling of "hanging out" and physically spending time together. Ley, who lives in Miami, says this is how her and her fiancé, who lives in Paris, survive on two different continents. And Skype is very often used for couples in which one half of the duo are fighting the war in Iraq or Afghanistan. Once only able to send hand-written letters to soldiers over seas which could take weeks, even months, to arrive, now couples can stay in touch in real time via Skype. This is an impressive advancement when you compare both communication venues: snail mail vs. video chatting.

Overall, I think technology has certainly helped couples who are not together physically stay together emotionally. Through the use of cell phones, computers and video tools, two people have more options than ever to stay connected and feel like they are apart of somebody's life on a whole new level.

However, I'll leave you with one question to ponder on this topic: do new technologies actually help long distance relationships be more successful or do they simply make it more bearable? Again referencing the aforementioned article above (Love Tech Goes the Distance), "But while innovations like e-mail, video chatting, instant messaging, Twitter and Second Life have increased the volume of Internet chatter, they haven't necessarily made long-distance relationships any more successful, Guldner says. Communication's quality, he says, has always meant more than its frequency.

'Information technology has definitely led people to believe that long-distance relationships will work more than in the past,' says Guldner. 'Whether that's true is the big question we're dealing with right now.' "

What do you think?